My life in a nutshell- a long blog

So I figured it was about time for me to tell you a little bit about myself. I was born and raised in Perrysburg Ohio. I thought I would be there forever, but when I was 16, my parents decided to move to Fla. I told them before I moved that if I saw 1 roach, I was moving back wit h my grandparents. Well, 877,546,054 roaches later, I still live here. I love it. Mind you, I miss the seasons, but you can't beat the friendships I have made, and going to the beach whenever I want. Besides, I met Chris here. I met him at church like within a few weeks of living here. We literally hated each other, and use to fight all the time.. even physically. People use to say, what about Chris? And I would say... "no, I will never date Chris Williams!" God had a plan the whole time, and was probably sitting up there cracking up. He started asking me out a couple times, and I would politely refuse. I even had a crush on his best friend, so I used that as an excuse. So he finally gave up, and as soon as he did, I knew in my hear that he was the one. I kinda knew before, but never really let my feelings to the for front. Then one day, he decided to go to a different church, and I was afraid that he would meet someone else there, so I expressed my feelings, and 7 and a half years later, we are as happy as we can be. That's not to say we haven't had our rough times. The first year was pretty hard. I lost my job right after I came back from our honeymoon. I was out of work for 3 months, and he only made 8.50 an hour. At that first moment in our lives together, we realized that we were going to have situations that would either make or break our marriage. I think that's what happens to a lot of marriages, is that they say for better or worse, but don't really mean it. You can't just run away from your problems. You have to make the decision to build your character from the bad times. Another thing is that people have this "me" mentality, and they don't realize the other person in the room. That's why I feel so blessed to have him. When I did finally get a job, it was working a a juvenile correction center for boys. I worked the night shift, so we never got to spend any time together. Not to mention, that working in a place like that can really do something to your psyche. While I was working there- 5 months after marriage, we were robbed. Of course the things they took weren't really that important, but they took our sense of security. After that, we had to move into his parents house. It was only for a couple weeks while we found a place, but for newly weds, it felt like an eternity. After we moved, life calmed down quite a bit.

Then about 3 years into marriage, after unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant, I was told that I may never have children. Having always wanted to be a wife and mother, that ripped my heart to shreds. We didn't have money for fertility treatments, or adoption, but there was nothing that I could do. I could say that I was in a depression for a long time after that, but that would be an understatement. I was just plain sad... all of the time. I wore a happy mask, but on the inside I wanted to cry, always. I would plead with God, and cry, and pray all of the time. I couldn't even begin to tell you how many people prayed for me. I thought I had done something, and God wouldn't forgive me for it, or he thought that I didn't deserve them. I felt very rejected, and that was the only word I had to describe the way I felt. People used to say- oh, God can heal you, all it takes is faith. I knew that God could heal me, but I didn't know that he would. I knew people that God could have healed of cancer that still died.

One day, during worship time at church, I, like always, was begging God to heal me. All of the sudden, with a clear voice He said "Emily, you want a child more than you want me." I knew it was true, but I didn't know how to change that. He said it to me over and over for a while. So finally I said "Well God, then help me to want you more." Over time, I began to fast, and made sure that I was worshiping him, and not whining for my own selfish desires.
February 6, 2009, I was at a youth service, and they were singing the Lifehouse song "Everything". I was worshiping God, and all of the sudded, again, in a clear voice I hear "Emily, just accept your healing." I stopped dead in my track- could this be true? Could this be the moment? I didn't know what to think. He said it again. Then I thought of the woman with the issue of blood. That was literally me. She physically touched his robe, and was instantly healed. And I said "God, if I could just touch your hem, like the woman in the Bible, I know I would be healed." Then I got this overwhelming feeling all over my whole body. It felt like when you lift up a sheet, and just let it fall on you, that amazingly good feeling. I felt that over my entire body. I just cried, and God said, you can have more than the hem, you can have the whole thing. That was February 6, and on February 16, we conceived our first daughter, Alyssa Grace. Her middle name is Grace, because it's by God's grace, and love that she is here. He is so good! So here I am, a wife and mother, just as I always wanted to be. People think I'm crazy when I say that we want like 3 or 4, but they have no idea how much I love being a mom. So, thats my story, and it's not even over yet!!