I have Moved!

No, I haven't moved to a new place again, but I have moved my blog.  And- it will finally be updated more often.

http://acalmingchaos.blogspot.com/


Come on over and see me!

Good to be back - Alyssa is 2!

Wow, its been 7 months since my last post. Alyssa is 2 years old today. She has developed so much. Her favorite things right now are Barney, Princesses and learning to count and say her alphabet. She also loves dancing, and her "Gampa" is trying to make sure she is a drummer. She will definitely do something with music. We have also taken the plunge finally after 8 years of marriage and bought a house! It's a 3/2 in Auburndale, FL! I am especially happy to be in Auburndale, because ever since we moved from Ohio, I wanted to live here. It's a little small town, and it has a nice walking downtown with a park, and thrives off of small businesses. Luckily we bought a house that we feel like we can grow old in, because the buying process was very stressful. I am planning on starting a new blog soon. Not that it will be kept up with any better than this one, but I'm very excited about it. It will be used for photography and before and after stuff with the house. I will still keep this one with updates on family life. I'm not exactly sure when that blog will take effect, but I know that it won't until after I settle in, and actually start doing projects around the house. But for now I will give you a little bit of a tour. These pics are from when the previous owners lived here, so it has their furniture and paint colors and everything. I will show you more pictures when I get a chance.

The Absence of Hell

My heart aches today. I love nothing more than having nice cute blogs, but the fact of the matter is that we all go through things sometimes, and I have been going through something for a while now. It's easy to cover up, and make-believe that the world is lovely, and nothing goes wrong, but the fact is that nothing is perfect, except God himself.

It's hard to fathom eternity. A place where time doesn't exist. I sometimes forget that this life I'm living right now isn't eternal. I am young, so I know that many years are ahead of me. I can't imagine what it will be like 30 years from now, when I am almost 60, and will probably have grandchildren of my own. If I can't picture 30 years from now, how will I picture 100 million years from now, or longer? Eternity is something that is hard to imagine, but it is very real.

The Bible teaches us that there is Heaven, and that there is Hell. Hell on earth is nothing like the eternal Hell. I feel like we go through hell on earth, for a couple reasons. One is so that we can have emotions, and compassion for other's situations. I also believe that we go through hell on earth, so that we have hope for the after life. Heaven will be so glorious, and magnificent, that we have no idea what is in store.

There has been a lot of talk and debate lately over hell not being real. People are now saying that it (hell) is a scare tactic to con people into getting saved, and going to church. It scares me to think that people who are not yet saved, are being swayed into this way of thinking. The truth is that Hell is talked about all over the Bible. The Bible being the Word of God. To say that there is no hell, is basically like spitting in the face of God and calling Him a liar. And if God is a liar, then he is a sinner, which would make him imperfect, which in turn, would make Him not God.

The argument is, how can a God, who loves us so much, send us to a place as evil as hell? I can understand where people are coming from with that. I don't even pretend to fully understand why this is. But the truth is that God gave each of us the power of free will, and the ability to make decisions. He tests us to see how we handle situations. But wthout hell, than what would be the reward? What would be the point of Heaven? Will He say "Come now my good and faithful servant" to everybody? Al Capone? Charles Manson? All of the cold-blooded killers, and heartless child molestors? All of the crooks who stole everything that someone was worth? The man that violently attacked his own wife and children day after day? The other man that laid "lovingly" next to his wife, just hours after he laid with another woman? The absense of hell would make things so much easier. I could go on with my life, and do whatever I wanted. No repercussions. Nothing to answer for. I could just treat everyone how I wanted, and it would be ok.

I would just like to know what this world is coming to. Eye for an eye, instead of turn the other cheek. We are already headed towards a war within ourselves. We are in an age that women care more about their own rights than the innocent rights and freedom of the unborn. Where prime time tv is getting more and more lax on their standards. Where it's ok to throw someone else under the bus, in order to save yourself. The standards as a whole, of everyone in the word is just going down-hill. I see in the future of this "free country" that Christian's will be persecuted like they are in third world countries. That it won't be ok to worship God. We are already not allowed to pray as a whole, in fear that someone, somewhere may be offended. Around this country, you are free to be a Muslim, you are free to be a Buddist, you are free to be an Athiest, but you are not free to be a Christian.

Like I say, I'm not the judge. I don't have the Book of Life sitting on my bookshelf. What you do and believe is between you and God. Jesus sat with sinners, and hung out with sinners, but that didn't mean that he loved their sin. And God calls us to love our neighbors, but he never said you had to agree with what they do. There are people in my life whom I love dearly, but do thingsI don't agree with. They have a place in my heart, and I don't think we should end our friendship based on choices that they make, that don't ultimately affect me.

I serve a loving God. He loves me, in spite of who I am, or where I came from. He loves me in spite of how I look, or who my friend are, or how good I am with money. And through his love there is hope, and strength, and purpose. I am saved from hell, because I chose to be. I asked Jesus to live within me, ad I repented of my sins. I gave up my old lfe, and He made me new. I now worship Him, and have a relationship with Him. Jesus is the only way to Heaven. I will follow him all of my days.

Who Need's Toys?

This is Alyssa... she's adorable, right? Well, this little cutie sure has some quirky behavior. Every once in a while, my living rooms looks like the pit of despair, and I find that no matter how much I clean it, there just isn't enough room for all of her toys. How could this be? There used to be enough room, and I haven't bought anything, so why is there now not enough room? Because my kid is like this lady from The Labyrinth. If you have never seen this movie, shame on you. It is a must. But anyways this ugly woman finds things to be valuable, and keeps them in her pile. I'm going to avoid the 'H' word, because I don't want to speak things into my daughter. But she finds random things around the house, and snatches them when I'm not paying attention. This blog doesn't need many words. I will show you pictures of some of the random things that I find. Enjoy.

Unopened pack of balloons. Used to be in a bag in the back room A wireless keyboard. Ok, I have to admit, I knew about this, but she always wants to type on my computer while I'm working. This was a clear solution. This is one of 5 or 6 hangers that I pulled out of her pile. Lots and lots of clothes, socks and shoes. Random dishes and containers and don't forget the many spoons. And here she is when I laid them out. Who could forget about the water bottles. She goes into our room and takes them off our nightstands. I could not even begin to count how many I find on a regular basis. Under the dressers, under the bed, under and in the couch. You name it. A VHS tape. We don't even own a VCR...so I will just let you use your imagination, as I have had to do the same. I feel as though I have saved the best for last. You may agree, maybe not. But what kid plays with this? Ok, so I have said it before, and will probably say it again. She makes me laugh, all the time, and that is probably one of my favorite things about her. She's a little nutty, but she comes by it very honestly. :)

Happy Valentines Day!!!!

Things I love:
Chris
Alyssa
Chris
My family
Chris
My friends
Did I mention Chris?

Alyssa is learing and growing more everday. She is really starting to talk a lot. I know you have to be her mom to really understand what she is saying most of the time, because most words sound alike, but here are somethings that she is saying:

Gup= cup
Guck (with her face all squished)= yuck
Key-ey = kitty
Owwwww = meow
Guckie = doggy
Bakey or baby = blankie
Eat eat = eat
Pup = poop
No Butt = I haven't figured out what this one is yet

She is also now eating with a fork, she twirls when you sing slow songs and bops up and down when you sing fast songs, and clap or snap She is going to be potty training soon, so that will be a new blog all in itself. TTFN

1 Month

It has been a month since my last entry (wrist slap). I feel like I am seriously Livin' la Vida loca! Chris has been working a lot, and I have the kids during the day while I work, and trying to keep up the house, plus fitting in me time is almost unheard of. I would say that I should get up early or go to bed late to blog, but if I was to lose sleep over something constructive, it would be exercising. I have also been trying to do the whole craft thing, which is turning out to be a total bomb.

So, Christmas is coming up! Absolutely my favorite time of year! Makes me wish I lived in a cabin in the mountains with fireplaces and free time and stuff. There is just something about Christmas that is so special, that makes you want to be home in your jammies and cozied up to your favorite people. And bake cookies, and make crafts, and looking outside at the frigid cold, knowing that you have your family to keep you warm. I know it sounds like a cheesey Hallmark card, but it really does make me happy.

Well, I shall return, however, now, I have a crying kid. Merry Christmas if I don't get on here before then.

Happy Birthday Munch!

My little girl turns 1 today. All my life I waited for the day that I would find out that I was pregnant. Now that day seems like an eternity ago. I remember the day so clearly. I was craving pickles, chocolate chip cookies and garlic bread, all at the same time. I wanted to take a test, but had so many disappointing results, so I hesitated to go to the store to buy one. But something just told me to do it. So, I was on my way home from work and I prayed that God would show me a sign, because I didn't want to be disappointed. I looked at the clouds, and the road signs, and saw nothing. I was just about to pass walmart when I saw a bumper sticker that said "Good things happen". I figured that was sign enough, so I got it, peed on it, and it popped up positive right away. I was speechless, and Chris came home while I was still in the bathroom. I was waiting for the line to go away, because it couldn't be real. When Chris got home he kept banging on the door to mess with me, and little did he know that his life was about to change. I came out of the bathroom,and ran through the house looking for him, and I found him outside, and I cried out to come here. He was speechless, and made me take 2 more tests that night, and 1 digital one the next day before I took the blood test to avoid disappointment. I had a pretty easy pregnancy. Almost no sickness. I just couldn't stand for very long because I would get dizzy. Then on 11/17 at 6:14 am I had my first contraction, and had my little angel at 8:39pm that night. She was everything I ever dreamed of. She started sitting up at 5 months, crawling at 8 months, and walking at 10 months. She now says momma, dada, baby, stop it, hi, bye bye and night night. I think she also says thank you, but I'm not positive that's what it is. She loves bath time, kisses, turning upside down, eating, being thrown around, pushing things along the floor, dancing, and anything to do with music. She hates being left alone, put down, and the doctor. Right now she is in to smacking her lips with her tongue, necklaces, picking things up while she walks, holding more than one thing in her hand, emptying out her drawers and putting her head on the floor with her butt in the air. Everyday, she makes us laugh. Always with something new. She is a ham. Sometimes she will put something in her mouth like a dog, and look at everyone to make sure they can see her, and they think it's funny. Or when you say "YAY" and clap, she will stop whatever she is doing to clap, even if it means falling down or dropping what she is playing with. It makes me laugh, so sometimes I do it just to be mean. It has been a great year, and I am looking forward to many more.

Random Hawaii

Ahhh.... Hawaii. My love for Hawaii. As I told you before, I love Hawaii. It's just such a cool place, and I wish I was there. Hopefully me and Chris can take a trip there sometime in the next year or 2. It would be such bliss. But in the meantime, I just have to look at it on the internet. Since it was on my mind, I figured I would give you a few random facts.

That's me in he middle-ish. You see, he one with the big bass? Just kidding, I stole this pic off of the internet.

1.Hawaii’s nickname is the “Aloha State.” The word aloha is derived from the Proto-Polynesian, alofa, and its meanings include “love,” “compassion,” and “mercy.” Aloha is used both as “hello” and “goodbye

2.Because their society was largely an oral rather than a written culture, ancient Hawaiians would learn values and history through trained storytellers. Because the stories were considered sacred, listeners were not allowed to move once a story began

3.Surfing, or heenalu, was invented thousands of years ago by the Polynesians who first settled Hawaii. Their boards weighed more than 150 pounds and measured up to 20 feet

4.When written with the English alphabet, Hawaiian uses only 12 letters and a symbol (‘).

5.Historically, Hawaiians gave leis to their local ali'i, or chief, as a sign of affection. Warring chiefs who wanted to make peace sat down to weave leis together.

6.The hula was originally a form worship performed by highly trained men who were supposedly taught the dance by the Hawaiian god Luka.

7.Ancient Hawaiians believed that the heavier a woman, especially a chieftess, the more beautiful she was.

8.Everyone is a minority in Hawaii—there are no racial majorities. Haoles or Caucasians, constitute about 33% of the population, Japanese about 33%, Filipino-Americans about 16%, and Chinese-Americans about 5%. Most of the population has mixed ethnicities

9.The average projected lifespan of those born in Hawaii in the year 2000 is 79.8 years (77.1 years if male; 82.5 if female), longer than the residents of any other state

10. In the older hotels on the islands, the windows face to the island rather than the ocean, because travelers came by ship which took days even weeks. They were sick of the ocean.

Hawaii's Good Luck Symbols:

Some other Hawiian symbols:

Pinapple is a symbol of friendship, welcome, and good hospitaity. They often give pinapples as gifts, much like we would flowers or wine here.


This symbole means Shaka or hang loose. It's used towards people a lot like Aloha would be, to say Hi, bye, or to symbolize friendship.


Flower leis are used as a greeting, and a symbol of hospitality and honor.

The language
If you would like to learn how to pronounce Hawaiian words, here is a little trick. For instance, the word ali'i the 2 i's would both be sounded out like eee. So ali'i would sound like uhlee-ee. Every vowel is carefully sounded out. Kauai which is one of the islands, looks like it would sound like coway, but actually sounds like Kuhwyie. The word a'ina meaning meal would sound like ah-ee-nah. Here, now you try:
Humuhumunukunukuapuaa
Hahaha... did I throw you off there? The Humuhumunukunukuapuaa is the state fish. It would actually sound like - are you ready for this?
Hoo-moo-hoo-moo-noo-koo-noo-koo-ah-poo-ah-ah.
Say that 10 times fast. Anyways, that is your lesson for the day. If yo would like to extend your lingo, here is a pretty good website - http://www.alohafriendsluau.com/words.html.
Aloha!

Dances with David

This week I started keeping our nephew David. He is a fun, on-the-go 2 year old. I'm definately going to have to get used to having a 2 year old in the house all the time, but it's great for him and Alyssa to be able to have eachother to play with.

Strolling Through IKEA

We went to IKEA the other day. I need a highchair to keep at my in-laws house, and don't want to spend a fortune since she doesnt eat on it everyday. We went, and I couldn't find the one I wanted with the other highchairs. Who would have thought that they would be in 2 different sections? So I forgot to look at the tag to find out where it was in the warehouse, and we had lunch reservations, so I ended up leaving, and going back after lunch, only to find out that the one I actually wanted was sold out. Oh well. But the first time we went, I was giving Alyssa a much needed break from her stroller, and let her walk a little with my fingers. She let go, and went to te stroller, and decidd that pushing it sounded like more fun. And I thought it was cute, so I decided to post up a couple pics up for you.

Why I hate Detroit - Dedicated to Brian Toti

So, apparently my blog is leaving much to be desired. Thanks for pointing that out, Brian. And now my brother Matt. I recently went to visit my home town - Perrysburg. It was so nice up there. Saturday night I actually froze! I was walking to my car an it was like 50 degrees outside. I miss having the fall weather though, that's for sure. But let me tell you about some things that happened.
I leave sunny Orlando with shining happy people holding hands, and make my way to... dun dun dun... Detroit. Whew. Close your eyes an imagine me with a rolling carry on, a crying baby, her stroller and car seat, and diaper bag. I'm trying to find my way after I get off the plane, and there are NO bathrooms in site.
So I am walking all over the place lugging this stuff around, about to wet myself, and I finally come up to te bathroom. I am now forced to use the handicap stall because of the stroller. I get in there, and someone had pooped on the floor. Yes, poop and yes, I was desperate, and this was my ONLY option.
So after this, I leave to go get yet another suitcase. I get lost on my way to baggage claim. I finally get there, and I guess I wasn't the only one with these problems, because I was the first person there, and God was shining his beautiful face on me, because my bag was the first one on the convey er, and was just happening to be coming down right when I walked up. So that was the easy part.
I make my way over with the stroller, car seat, diaper bag, and 2 rolling suitcases over to the car rental kiosk. Everything seems smooth thus far. Then I call. She says ''ma'am, you need to go upstairs to the ground transportation area". With my mouth, I am saying ok, thank you, but in my heart I'm saying - ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME WOMAN?!?!
So I go back to the elevator, and hit the button that says ground transportation. I get off the elevator, and follow the sign that leads me directly to.... an escalator... to take me downstairs. I'm a little annoyed at this point. Like the escalator is some secret passage you have to take to get to the rental cars. So I ask some random individual standing there innocently, looking like he was just dieing to help a stressed out mom with a million things in her hands. He says "uh, I think you have to go down a floor" Annoyed, I once again had to find the elevator. I go one floor down, parking garage, another floor, parking garage. Finally, one floor down I see the shuttle area that I needed to be at. Coincidentally right behind it I see the baggage claim area that I just came from.
So I get the shuttle, and go to rent my car. She recommends that I get the next size up because of the stroller, which ended up being a fantastic idea, since they rented me a Nissan versa which may have gotten the model design from Steve Urkel. After jamming everything in the car (20 minutes later) I look and notice that my wallet is missing. If you have ever been to Detroit, you know that this is a serious problem. I remembered putting it in Alyssa's car seat since I had so much to carry, and I assumed maybe she's dropped it. So I have to take the baby out, and look over the whole parking lot until I get to the office, and scope that out, praying that I would find it. I asked the security guard if anyone turned it in, and to my suprise, she said no.
I'm freaking out at this point, because it's not like I'm at home, I'm across the country, and would have no way of getting home. The security guard offered to help me look. Again, my steps were traced, and it was no where. She opened the trunk and shook somethings around. It turned out that my jokester of a kid shoved it within the walls of the stroller. That was my experience with Detroit. Maybe next time I will fly into Toledo.
Luckily te rest of the trip was a breeze. I had a great time. I got to spend sometime with my sisters and my friends, and see people that I haven't seen in 12 years. It was really great until I had to go back to Detroit, but that is a whole nother blog.

Shedding Skins

Sometimes you look in a bush, and find something white hanging in it. You look a little closer, and realize it's a snake skin. I hold it up to see how big the snake is that shed it. But then I realize that the snake that shed it, is just a little bit bigger than the skin it left behind. A snake can't grow with the dead skin on it; it needs to be removed.

I'm so excited to go back up to Perrysburg. Every time I go back up, I get really sick of where I am, and really wish that I could just move up there. Who could blame me, it's beautiful up there. Minus the subzero winters full of gray skies,and slush, it is a really pretty town, and seems so picture perfect.

There is just such a difference between Florida and Ohio. Sure, our weather is ideal from the outside looking in, but what most people don't realize is that we only get like 4 weeks out of the whole year that you would want to open your windows, and enjoy nature. The summer is too hot, the winters are too cold, the spring brings on mosquito's, so that leaves fall... but anyways - soap box.

No matter hw perfect things look like up there,the reality is that I have my life here now. My family is here (with a couple exceptions), mine and Chris' jobs, and his family. Not to mention that we have a baby now, and us leaving would be devastating for the grandparents. I have friends here. And as much as I would love to be back up there, I'm constantly reminded of the life that I left behind.

Much like the snake that sheds it's skin to grow, I had to shed somethings to grow as a person. I was treated horribly by my peers. There wasn't a day that went by that someone wasn't trying to make my life miserable. I tried my best to fit in, but no matter what I did, or how nice I was to people, I was constantly scrutinized. I ended up doing a lot of things that I'm not proud of like stealing, and drinking and partying. I thought that those things would make me a better person, and people would like me more, but all it did (now looking back) was make me look like an idiot. Sometimes I wish I could go have a talk with teenage me, and go over all of the things I have learned since leaving Ohio, and tell myself to get a grip, and that you wouldn't even remember half of those people.

Basically what I am saying is that I had to shed my old life. Shed the things I did that held me back. Shed the hurt feelings and the bitterness that I have towards those people. Shed the fact that I wasn't perfect, or te fact that my parents bank account didn't look like everyone elses. Shed the fact that I never had perfect hair, perfect skin or perfect teeth. Shed the fact that I didn't look as good in a pair of jeans, or play sports, or live in a huge house on the hill. Shed the fact that I was too ashamed of myself to stand up for myself, or the fact that I let others make me feel that way. Shedding off the fact that I still have layes and layers and layers of scars, that I feel like will take me the rest of my life to shed. But each layer that I shed makes me that much bigger, and that much stronger. I no longer have that dead skin weighing me down, and I can finally conquer the world that I have around me!

When I moved to Florida, I moved with the intention of not letting people control how I felt. I figured no one knew me, and even though my esteem was shot, I would put up this strong front. I wouldn't let anybody make me feel the way that I felt up there. But now I am strong. I am a mighty woman of God, and I have authority. No one cn change me but Him and me. He helps me everyday to shed off those layers. He made me strong. He made me love me for who I am. I'm still far from perfect, but you know what, thats ok. I can still try to achieve perfection, but it will never happen. And that is ok too. It doesn't matter, because life is short. Too short to let dead skin get in the way of your happiness. Thank you God for showing this to me. I love you guys, and I love me.

Quiet Times

In the everyday hustle and bustle, sometimes we forget to sit back and just take in life. Every night and every morning, God paints us a picture, and we hardly notice. We get caught up in what we are doing and where we need to be, and we forget that we are given this gift everyday. Chris and I have been reflecting lately about appreciating things, and cherishing our lives more. This time that we have with Alyssa is precious, and we can never get it back again.

The other night, we were just sitting there, and I caught a glimpse of the sunset over the lake, so I asked Chris if he wanted to go on a walk. We decided to go accross the street to the dock, and watch the sunset. The breeze was perfect, and the scenery was awsome, and I would just close my eyes and feel the wind, and jut listen to the waves. It was so nice and relaxing. Alyssa seemed to really be into it too, but of course, she loves to be outside. It is one of those times that I will always cherish.

Boogs Obsession

Meet Boog



Most people pronounce it wrong. They try to say it like boot but wih a g instead of t, but it's actually more of a lazy o - much like Booger. Boog is actually short for Booger, but if we ever called him that, he wouldn't respond. The funny part is that his name isn't even Booger at all, it's Tyson. We named him Tyson, because he is big, and he likes to bite (hehe) and he has a really soft feminine voice. So we named him Tyson, but decided his nickname would be Booger, but ended up calling him Boog. So that is where his name comes from.

He's a funny cat. He is just so big, and he thinks sometimes that he's a dog. But he is incredibly loving. He loves to cuddle and be around us at all times. The only time that is ever a problem is when I'm working. I guess he sees me as his own personal lounge chair. So this is what he's been doing lately.



Did you pass gas?



No Boog, make your self at home!
Oh, that's still not right? Well, move around some until you're comfortable. Don't worry about me here.




Ok, is that better? Good.

Oh, Boog, I love you too. :)

What? A Nap? No Thanks!

Alyssa was sleeping in the swing the other day, and she kept jumping and waking herself up. So me, being a good mommy decided I would put her in her crib to take a nap. Of course, I didn't have high expectations, because moving her during a nap could mean war. So I put her in her crib, and gave her her little blankie, and paci, and she closed her eyes. She fussed just a little, but I left her in there. Knowing her, she will usually stay in for a few minutes before she starts crying. So about 30 minutes later, I noticed I hadn't heard her. I was like 'oh, she must have went to sleep'. Because I am the kind of mom that has to see what she is doing t all times- including how she is sleeping, I grabbed the camara, and snuck over to her room, thinking I was going to snap a sweet angelic picture of her sleeping. Instead, this is what I find.


She decided since she wasn't going to take a nap, that it would be much better idea to throw all of her stuff out of the crib. Because you know, you don't want anything near you that might temp yu to close your eyes for a few minutes.